18-1

my oh my...

when the scripture says "hope deferred makes the heart sick"...it knows what it's talking about.

i grew up about 15 miles from giants stadium...saw a few concerts there...drove by it a thousand times...

but i was never a nyg fan. my dad was a jets fan...so, i was too. in my mind (for right or wrong) the "new york football giants" were akin to the yankees (but w/o all the world titles). they were the "other team" in town...plus my snotty nosed cousin liked them, so i hated them.

plus, i'm an afc fan. with the exception of the packers, there isn't a team in the nfc i would root for.

so when we moved to new england 10 years ago, i slowly made the transition to being a patriots fan (i've always been a red sox fan...we have a common enemy in the yankees). it was quite easy...the jets (the team i root for) have been...well, the ny jets and that isn't going to change anytime soon...and the pats have been awesome.

but, i'm not a real fan. i'm a fair weather fan. if the pats went to stink...i'd keep my own misery with the jets, i suppose. however, i was rooting for them.

i was rooting for them bc i adopted them as my team.

i was rooting for them bc they are a great team.

i was rooting for them bc everybody outside new england wasn't.

i was rooting for them bc they were playing the giants.

i was rooting for them bc they had a chance at history.

so, at about 10:30 on sunday night...i think that was what time it was...i had a dull ache inside. it didn't hurt...i wasn't going to cry...i didn't get angry at every little thing...but there was a dull ache.

i can only imagine what a "real" patriot fan must feel. worse, what any of the patriot's players or coaches must feel. that dull ache must feel like they had surgery done with a butter knife and a spoon...a table spoon.

there are other dull aches in life. there are other disappointments that are far worse than a football game.

people disappoint us. friends do...family does...our kids might...our parents, too. polititions...preachers...cab drivers...bookies...our dogs do...cats, too (but they don't care).

life is full of disappointments. and sometimes the spoon borne pain is so great (not searing, not piercing, not burning...just aching), we don't know what to do, or where to go, or where the pills are.

i remember those pains. i remember the zombie stare it brings. i don't look forward to ever feeling it again...but chances are i will at some point.

but i've learned something...altho life isn't as trivial as a football game, alot of things are trivial. i still sweat some small stuff...far more than i should. but i try not to.

i've learned another thing...i've learned that the most important thing in this life is my relationship with Jesus. i guess i should have known that sooner...well, i think i did know that, at least in my head. and i try to let everything that happens, whether good or bad or indifferent, drive me closer to Him rather than become a wedge between me and Him (if that last sentence isn't grammatically correct, it is theologically correct--think about it). and i find that when i live this way, it makes handling disappointment a whole lot easier.