The Morgan Church Devotional

a pastor's thoughts about...uhm...stuff

Name:
Location: Morgan, VT., United States

follower of Jesus. husband & father. friend. pastor.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Wake Up to Find Out That...

first off, if you didn't know it, robert hunter is an absolute poetic genious.

now, it's amazing what hits you in the middle of the night.

eyes of the world has long been my "favorite" song. i say it that way, bc i don't want to be cheesy. but, cheesy i am, i guess. it is an incredible jam...transporting, at times.

but the lyrics have always confused me. it was like it was nonsensical...i've thought and thought about it...but nothing.

btw...if someone feels i am writing about them...i apologise--please don't be offended. i've just assumed that they've stopped reading here, too (that is, if they've ever read here). i also am not looking for reassurance...this is just what is on my heart.

well, last night was a tough one for me. i preached a sermon (it felt like a "good one"), went out to dinner with a couple from church, came home, read a little while and then went to sleep. i woke up about 130am...that's normal, but i usually go right back to sleep.

last night i couldn't.

i was thinking about things...church things. 3 people in particular...and then all the people those 3 people affect. they've said something along the lines of "church isn't working for me" or "it's not what i expected" or i don't know...but they weren't in service.

and it troubled me.

it troubles me for them. i worry about them. my experience is that church is a good thing, a God thing...even when i don't want to be there...and when someone consciously makes the choice to not come bc "it doesn't work" or "it's not what i expected" or whatever...i worry for them. not so much in the sense of "they've lost their salvation"...or that they've "turned their back on Jesus"...it's far more subtle than that.

church is where the believer belongs. like ducks in water or pigs in mud ---you can pick which you are ;-) --- and when someone says "i don't belong there"...that's worrisome to me.

it troubles me for the people they effect. like it or not, we all effect one another. and everybody is important. if someone is saying "that's not working for me" it calls into question if it works at all. and if this person isn't here...then maybe i don't have to be there next time. maybe i can side step God's work in my life...maybe i can (try to) avoid His Spirit's influence on my life... maybe i can just explain it all away and...

lastly...(and sad to say, mostly) it troubled me for me. how it effects me. how it calls my performance into question (at least in my own mind)...how it reflects on me. i know, it's pretty lame...but humans we are and human i am...and it is the truth. it is easy to focus on the (hopefully!) minority...and once you start focusing on the minority, you find myriad things to support their position. there's this and there's that and then there's....my oh my how foolish we (i) can be.

so, the night was spent alternately:

tossing and turning
praying
fretting
praying
getting up and going to read
praying
surrendering
forgetting i just surrendered it to the Lord
fretting
reminding myself i just surrendered it to the Lord...
and so on.

i finally felt like sleeping at about 530 but decided it was too late to sleep. i went down to the computer to read the news (i do tht most sundays...just in case there is some big news to be mentioned in church. i guess i put on some music...altho i don't remember doing that. but, for some reason i started thinking about "eyes of the world"...and, it made sense.

well...tune in later to hear the ramblings of a man far too tired to be writing in his blog.

i have to go play stick ball.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Bridget said...

God is a great God and he uses each and every situation to His glory. Even when people don't attend church for whatever reason He will use that to further His kingdom. We all walk our own path with Jesus and sometimes even have to "wrestle" with Him as we find our way. I know it isn't always that hard but sometimes it is. Just keep on keeping on in your ministry. You're where you belong.

07:56  

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