The Word
i used to like controversy.
i used to promote debate.
i used to enjoy arguing...
and it's not that i don't like them any longer (i've not been delivered yet!)...but, more and more, i'm learning to refrain from them.
i've done this bc i noticed i really don't like people who argue, nor do i want to be around them. they seem ugly to me...they may have a nice appearance (or not) but there's this ugly monster lurking beneath their skin who pops out all green and smelly (like that quit smoking commercial)...
i don't want to be that person.
so, how do you stop doing something you like to do?
well, first off, you recognize it isn't easy.
recognize the tendency to repeat this behavior and look for ways to AVOID it...
most times we see it coming...we feel it coming too.
we hear the comments...they may be inflamatory or ingnorant;
they may be indulgent or insolent
they may be indefensible or just plain old dumb...
none the less...they bug us
& we begin to formulate our side of the argument in our heads...
"i'll say this...and when they say that...i'll say this"
our blood pressure begins to rise...
we need to unbutton our collar...
well...b4 any of this happens, leave. excuse yourself. mentally check out. but don't allow someone else's conversation to affect your behavior.
recognize your words will rarely change anyone else's behavior
we may "win" the argument, but did we bring any lasting change? chances are, no.
it is God's job to change people, not ours. if He chooses to use us in that process, He will use us when we are in His character.
recognize we are being "duped"
most times people start arguments to make themselves feel better...to justify thier opinions or to give them some sort of ego boost. the most frustrating thing for them, and the thing that would best reveal their character flaw, is to not allow your self to be baited into the argument.
recognize arguing appeals to our flesh
it is not the Spirit inside us who argues. it is our flesh. the Spirit doens't need to argue...He is always right and there is not debate about it. He doesn't have to win anything. nor does He need to be defended. we aren't doing God any favors by arguing...we aren't helping His cause or advancing His Kingdom...we are building our own.
"let God be true and every man a liar"
i used to promote debate.
i used to enjoy arguing...
and it's not that i don't like them any longer (i've not been delivered yet!)...but, more and more, i'm learning to refrain from them.
i've done this bc i noticed i really don't like people who argue, nor do i want to be around them. they seem ugly to me...they may have a nice appearance (or not) but there's this ugly monster lurking beneath their skin who pops out all green and smelly (like that quit smoking commercial)...
i don't want to be that person.
so, how do you stop doing something you like to do?
well, first off, you recognize it isn't easy.
recognize the tendency to repeat this behavior and look for ways to AVOID it...
most times we see it coming...we feel it coming too.
we hear the comments...they may be inflamatory or ingnorant;
they may be indulgent or insolent
they may be indefensible or just plain old dumb...
none the less...they bug us
& we begin to formulate our side of the argument in our heads...
"i'll say this...and when they say that...i'll say this"
our blood pressure begins to rise...
we need to unbutton our collar...
well...b4 any of this happens, leave. excuse yourself. mentally check out. but don't allow someone else's conversation to affect your behavior.
recognize your words will rarely change anyone else's behavior
we may "win" the argument, but did we bring any lasting change? chances are, no.
it is God's job to change people, not ours. if He chooses to use us in that process, He will use us when we are in His character.
recognize we are being "duped"
most times people start arguments to make themselves feel better...to justify thier opinions or to give them some sort of ego boost. the most frustrating thing for them, and the thing that would best reveal their character flaw, is to not allow your self to be baited into the argument.
recognize arguing appeals to our flesh
it is not the Spirit inside us who argues. it is our flesh. the Spirit doens't need to argue...He is always right and there is not debate about it. He doesn't have to win anything. nor does He need to be defended. we aren't doing God any favors by arguing...we aren't helping His cause or advancing His Kingdom...we are building our own.
"let God be true and every man a liar"
posted by PMike. | 06:50
2 Comments:
I understand that controversy and arguments are negative ways to communicate but debate or discussion can be a positive way of using a door or window that God has opened in a soul for revelations to be given via you a vessel open to His use.
right. i'm am only speaking of arguing. if you are able to lovingly present truth...then, of course, it is your duty to do so.
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