The Morgan Church Devotional

a pastor's thoughts about...uhm...stuff

Location: Morgan, VT., United States

follower of Jesus. husband & father. friend. pastor.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Doing the Disconnect

there are a number of ways to "disconnect" from God...

and only one way to stay connected.

things that lead to disconnection (in no particular order):

being spiritually lazy

being self-centered, self-focused, self absorbed, or plain ol' selfish,
ignoring your personal needs and burning out

not praying
not reading
not witnessing
"having to pray"
"having to read"
"having to witness"
"having to do" anything

ignoring the thing that God keeps speaking to you
doing 100 things you think God might be saying to you

the one thing you can do to keep from the big disconnect:

depend on God's promise(s).

i struggled for years with distortions, distractions, disruptions and occasational (and temporary) disconnections.

i spent times not praying, reading or sharing my faith. i spent other times praying, reading and sharing so i wouldn't feel so crappy.

i've been way to busy and way to lazy and i've felt crappy both ways.

i've shut my ears to what God was speaking and i've tried doing all kinds of other things...maybe trying to impress Him or earn some favor with Him...or something...but always ended up feeling crappy.

then something changed.

first off, i started believing God didn't want me to feel crappy. crappy is not a part of God's plan or intent for the believer. they may have troubles (i'm up at 1am bc i can't sleep...). they may have to experience His discipline. they may go thru great tribulation. but they don't have to feel crappy while doing it.

so, if God didn't want me to feel crappy, why did i feel crappy? why did i see promises of hope and peace and joy and love and fail to experience it? were they real? were they true? were they for me?

i always believed they were real.
i always believed they were true.
but, i guess, i didn't always believe they were for me.

and that's what changed. i decided i should start believing God's promises.

i believed that God loved me and sent His Son to die on the cross to satisfy His wrath.

i believed that God didn't send Jesus to condemn me, but to save me.

i believed He bore in His body all of my sins (all of them...even the ones i hate to admit to).

i believed that He forgave all of that sin.

i believed that He still forgives my sins.

i believed that there is nothing i could do to change this (with the exception of outright repudiating it in a conscious and deliberate manner).

i believed i was adopted into His family and called His child.

i believed i am loved with an everlasting love.

i believed. well, not always.

i often didn't believe it. i often struggled with it. i spent time going thru the torture of feeling helpless to earn God's love and desperately trying to over and over again.

so, i just pretended to believe it. i just accepted it was real and true, and real and true for me, too. and when i had doubts i just said, but it's true. it's there in the book in black and white (and red).

i know "pretended" sounds funny...and i would gladly insert a different word...if i could think of one. but i can't.

i read those promises and acted like they were true.

guilt? well, sure i have some. but i feel it's sting and confess it (my sin) to God and i believe Him when He says He forgives it.

confusion? yep. it happens...but i walk in the promise that He orders my steps and live my life intending to be a blessing where ever i find my self.

bad days? ugh. well, they come along to. i take what i can learn from them...try to grow...accept God's grace and then i move on.

there is a huge problem with "disconnect" breaks my heart to see lives ship wrecked...i think a good many would be saved if we just started believing God.


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